Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Moving Forward

Yesterday's post got me some really great feedback, both on the blog comments and via friends on facebook.  You know, even though I never thought I would be one of "those" cesarean moms, I find myself often proud and honored to be counted amongst them.  There is such strength and courage in so many of us--regardless of the choices we make for our subsequent birth(s), it takes cojones to choose one way or the other, knowing there are risks to either choice, knowing others may judge us whichever decision we make, wondering if we can actually overcome ourselves and have the greatest birth possible.  There is a lot of emotional....stuff, for lack of a better word, that goes along with being a VBAC mom.  I'm so lucky that I've connected with so many who have been right where I am and who can provide emotional support and encouragement along this journey.

I particularly loved L's comment about putting things in "balloons" and letting them go.  That really resonated with me, and I think I can tie it into the work I'm going to have to do on my tigers before we are pregnant again.  What I was thinking of doing is finding a really nice box--it doesn't have to be exorbitantly expensive or fancy, but it does need to be special in some way--in which I can place all these things I'm confronting and working through before our next birth.  Maybe I'll even get one with a tiger on it and call it my "Tiger Box." Too much? Eh, we'll see.  But I think that's a really great place to start.  I already know two things I need to put in there--rupture and placental complications--once I've confronted them and  done some work on them.  I wonder if I should leave them in there once I've sat with them awhile and felt like I've worked through them or if I should allow myself to (literally and figuratively) open up the box again if ever and whenever I feel the anxiety or doubt regarding these things creeping up again.  I guess I can decide that later on down the road, but for now, I'm just glad to have something really constructive and concrete to get to work on.


  1. Here is the link for the book we discussed, the Emotional Freedom Technique manual:

    Like I mentioned, this technique has helped me and other people I know overcome physical and emotional "ailments". It has really changed my life and I think it can help you too. Over thinking and over analyzing and ESPECIALLY fear all seem to be a detriment when it comes to allowing your body to do it's job, especially when any kind of sphincter or involuntary muscle is involved. Maybe this technique could help you to overcome some of these (admittedly reasonable) fears and learn to trust that if something goes wrong, your body will let you know.

  2. J, thank you so much for posting this here. I am looking forward to checking out this book. You are exactly right in your commentary--I have so much work to do in the next year or so!

  3. I have used that method too. In high school i had a crippling fear of tractor trailers. i mean, it got so bad, at one point I had to pull my car over on 95 and let someone else drive. I went to a therapist to get help eventually and he suggested this. I totally didn't want to do it, but I did and it helped. Trucks still scare the crap out of me, but I dont have an anxiety attack when Im next to them anymore :)

    I used it for migraines also. I started getting them when I was preggo with C, and they kept getting worse and worse, until one night I rediscovered this method and I havent had a migraine since. Woot! Like homeopaths, I don't understand how it works but it cant hurt to try! :)

  4. Wow, Lauren, that is amazing! I put it on my Amazon wishlist when J first mentioned it, but I may have to go ahead and buy it soon. Do you think it would do me good to start working on it so soon? I could probably practice with other general anxieties that I have.