Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Farewell, Fanatics....

When I first got involved in the natural birth community and particularly VBACtivism, I sought out, of course, birth sites and forums that were supportive of VBAC as well as being supportive of a woman's right (obligation?) to make informed choices regarding her birth plans.  Some of these places are really great and, really, the only places I am likely to come across women who are planning or have had H/VBAMC.  Have I mentioned I collect these kinds of friends for my facebook? I plan to have an arsenal of women who have BTDT or BTT(ried)T when it is time for T's birth.  These sites also tend to attract a lot of people who believe in drug/intervention free births, which is really refreshing in a world where the vast majority of the messages women receive about birth is that it is unbearably painful and they need medical interventions in order to have their babies.

But something I've noticed is that a lot of the most vocal people on these sites tend to do I say this nicely?  Fanatical.  I will admit that I am probably more on the conservative side of the home/natural birthing community (is that possible going for a HBA2C?)--I absolutely will have an ultrasound to make sure there are no placenta placement issues or issues with the baby that mean s/he needs to be born in a hospital, I allow use of the doppler, I will attempt to encourage my labor naturally, I will not go past 42 weeks, I am becoming more open to the possibility of considering a hospital transport for pain relief (more on that later), etc etc.  These are informed choices I am making for myself, but it seems like if someone makes a choice that goes against a "100% believe in your body, don't ever interfere with pregnancy/birth under any circumstances" attitude, the fanatics come out in full force raging against the "man" who made women somehow doubt their internal birthing warrior.  And it can get downright outrageous sometimes.  I think for my own peace of mind, the same way I am under midwife's orders to not read any negative birth stories, I am also going to have to steer clear of those on the most extreme sides.  It really does me no good to be on these sites anyway, because it was getting to a point where I was calling people out on some of the more outrageous claims they were making and that just makes me look argumentative, and plus, it's slightly obnoxious (but so is making absolutely outrageous claims about birth...I mean ones even Michel Odent wouldn't cosign).

So, I am refocusing (it seems like I do this a lot, right? Oh well....) myself and my energies on maintaining balance and a healthy perspective on the whole thing--after all, it's birth and even if you want to, it's pretty hard to control, right?


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  2. YAY! Go You! Don't let the haters get you down. Just cut them out of your life - or put 'em in a red balloon ;)!

    You are not alone. I totally had the sonos (multiple once I went past 41 weeks). Im crunchy, but Im not a biscotti. I too didn't feel comfortable going too much past 42 weeks. Its not my body I didn't trust, its the infant mortality rates. Even in places like Sweden, theres still 2/1000... I just wanted to make my kids chance of being in that 2 as teeny tiny as possible. So, there relatively minute risk of the sono was worth it for me. I am open to the idea that perhaps sonos are more dangerous that I am aware, but the evidence I have seen did not convince me ;)

    I am finding that mommies like us are out there. We may be falling through the cracks a bit, but soon we will be the norm! :)

    p.s. no edit option? :) haha. i hate leaving a mistake!