Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Girl, Positive

Yes, that is the title of a Lifetime made for TV movie.  And yes, I do envision my future after raising kids to involve lots of boxed wine and LMN on 24/7.  Don't judge.

This year, I made a commitment to be more positive.  I was a big grouch a lot of the time during Emre's pregnancy.  Everything annoyed me--from my dogs to being postdates to skinny jeans. was out of control.  And part of that bad attitude carried over into my birth.  Not at the beginning, but around hour 152 (of course, I am exaggerating) my morale really started flagging.  I was so sick to death of pumping, crawling stairs, walking the neighborhood, doing curb walks, etc to try to bring on contractions.  I really, really wanted my body to take over on its own because, while it was nice to be able to rest a lot, it was mentally taxing to be in labor for so long.  But I wasn't doing myself any favors with that kind of attitude.

Being Suzy Sunshine does not come naturally to me at all.  The first couple months, I really had to work hard to change my FMLs into LMLs, but you know what I've noticed?  After faking it for awhile, I catch myself looking on the bright side without even noticing.  I'm sure this can only help me throughout my next pregnancy and delivery.  If I have to pump for 50 hours or drink an entire bottle of castor oil to get into a rhythm of active and sustained contractions, I'm going to do it and I will do it with a smile on my face.  Plus, K & B make a pretty delicious castor oil mint ice cream concoction.

Dear Universe, this post is in no way meant to be construed into a request for another super long labor.  I will gladly take anything under 12 hours.  With a BIG smile on my face.

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